I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
