I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
is wine microwaveable?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
40s are totally the cure
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
