I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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