I molested 6 butterflies tonight
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
