I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
