i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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