Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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