Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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