At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
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