sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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