I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
