i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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