the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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