lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
