I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize