I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
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I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
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im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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