sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
