I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I see more hoeing in ur future
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