Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
