let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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