we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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