Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
