He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
