I never want to see another naked old woman again.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
