eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
what food is Colorado known for?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.