i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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