Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I am a bulletproof tiger!

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): I am a bulletproof tiger! (615): Haha. Nice, be careful tonight. (828): I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat? http://tfl.nu/tz40
  Replies (6) Good night (1121) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city. http://tfl.nu/k96c
  Replies (14) Good night (1347) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  one word: firstdatebathroomanal

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): one word: firstdatebathroomanal http://tfl.nu/h4q1
  Replies (24) Good night (4854) Bad night (1415)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid http://tfl.nu/8ij1
  Replies (44) Good night (855) Bad night (3482)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/skfa
  Replies (8) Good night (3908) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans. http://tfl.nu/jpyk
  Replies (32) Good night (8672) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier http://tfl.nu/xjeu
  Replies (6) Good night (8090) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game. http://tfl.nu/oyv6
  Replies (15) Good night (4431) Bad night (1123)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party. http://tfl.nu/c4s1
  Replies (9) Good night (3591) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself. http://tfl.nu/j69f
  Replies (5) Good night (4010) Bad night (1698)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  ....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before. (419): ....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return. http://tfl.nu/j7d7
  Replies (21) Good night (2291) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month. http://tfl.nu/0lcc
  Replies (3) Good night (702) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible. http://tfl.nu/eufu
  Replies (1) Good night (370) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it http://tfl.nu/xr2p
  Replies (2) Good night (387) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong http://tfl.nu/0md7
  Replies (5) Good night (396) Bad night (529)

Randomize