Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.

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  (816): She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal. http://tfl.nu/7hy6
  Replies (45) Good night (4841) Bad night (975)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  her nipple to breast ratio was just odd

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  (386): her nipple to breast ratio was just odd http://tfl.nu/o8uo
  Replies (20) Good night (866) Bad night (3433)
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  (516): View more from New York

  U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by

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  (516): U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by http://tfl.nu/oseu
  Replies (4) Good night (2889) Bad night (472)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart

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  (443): I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart http://tfl.nu/al7w
  Replies (182) Good night (52359) Bad night (2125)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.

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  (208): His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood. http://tfl.nu/55rt
  Replies (14) Good night (4977) Bad night (1630)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from

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  (913): The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero. (816): Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from http://tfl.nu/rsiz
  Replies (9) Good night (2682) Bad night (630)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.

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  (917): Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep. http://tfl.nu/ccvs
  Replies (5) Good night (1371) Bad night (548)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.

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  (248): Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball. http://tfl.nu/g33p
  Replies (4) Good night (780) Bad night (1487)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.

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  (920): I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon. http://tfl.nu/kbkd
  Replies (8) Good night (1148) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day

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  (773): Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day http://tfl.nu/fpi9
  Replies (5) Good night (820) Bad night (1506)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight

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  (302): I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight http://tfl.nu/n5g0
  Replies (6) Good night (799) Bad night (526)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.

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  (610): Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day. http://tfl.nu/k3zd
  Replies (3) Good night (456) Bad night (676)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.

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  (803): I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits. http://tfl.nu/etyq
  Replies (5) Good night (401) Bad night (540)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.

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  (847): Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction. http://tfl.nu/r2mw
  Replies (2) Good night (490) Bad night (270)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.

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  (913): It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up. http://tfl.nu/mr2f
  Replies (2) Good night (865) Bad night (222)

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