I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come