I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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