If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
