if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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