i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize