i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
