The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
