We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
