I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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