yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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