Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
