I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
40s are totally the cure
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
