i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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