We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
do herpes really smell.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
