So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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