quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
