I didn't shave. On purpose
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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