There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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