I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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