The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
