the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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