you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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