i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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