There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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