Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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