Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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