Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
