I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
