you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
