whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
