all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
