dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
