Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
