Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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